Growing up with siblings prepares you for the real world.
They say that the firstborn tends to be a perfectionist, a leader and reliable (especially when it comes to their younger siblings).
The middle child, is almost always the opposite of the first-born, can efficiently read people and tends to be independent. The last-born, is generally always looking to have a good time, is the least financially responsible and is classically spoiled…rotten.
While most of these birth order characteristics can be debated, one seems to always remain tried and true; the youngest is spoiled. It’s just a fact of life and, if you’re denying it, you’re either a parent, or the youngest out of your siblings, which means you’re spoiled and would naturally protest.
Being the youngest is just a recipe of spoiledness waiting to happen. The parents have exhausted all, or most, of their punishment abilities on the older siblings, they [the parents] are struggling with the fact that their last child is growing up, which basically means they dump out their pocketbooks on the ‘baby.’
Growing up as the middle child of my 6 siblings, three above and three below, I’ve managed to observe both ends of the spectrum and firmly believe that the youngest sibling is always going to be spoiled. When I was 11, we had one prehistoric computer with just Wheel of Fortune and Solitaire (no internet).
For a few years, we had a hand-me-down Super Nintendo (that was kept under lock and key), but any use of either the computer, or Nintendo was strictly timed. If we wanted more time; too bad! We had to go outside and build forts, or make up games to play–which we did.
This weekend, as many of you know, was Easter and I drove with some of my family to Dallas, where we met up with some more family.
Tonight, when we were on our way home, I was smashed in the back seat next to my youngest brother, Robert.
As we made our way down the highway, I couldn’t help but reminisce back to all the road trips we had all gone on together as a family. Much has changed since the good ol’ days and now most of us are all grown up…most of us anyways.
Robert, who is 11 and the youngest, doesn’t just have a computer and a Nintendo, but also an iPad, a Wii, an Xbox, multiple GameBoys and no time for building forts outside. When I compare my childhood, with that of my younger siblings, I can’t help but notice all the things they get away with and the many luxuries that I never had, which all seems a little unfair.
Then again, I’m sure my older siblings could come up with a laundry list of items that I got away with, or luxuries that I had that they lived without. The more siblings that you have, the more chances of unfairness, which is especially true when there’s a 20-year difference between the youngest and the oldest.
I remember back when I was in high school, and asking the parents permission to do something, I would always receive a large response of “That’s not fair! I never got to do that,” from the peanut gallery.
That peanut gallery was made up of older siblings who felt just as I do about my younger, spoiled siblings.
At one point in time, my parents had 4 teenagers and 2 preteens living under their roof…no idea how they managed to live through that.
Along with the fact of believing the youngest is always spoiled, I also believe that it’s impossible to raise multiple children in a manner that is completely, 100-percent fair. It’s just not going to happen.
When I was 11, my parents didn’t have the money for expensive toys and I, unlike Robert, had other siblings close to my age who I could play with and/or annoy. I’ve never once felt like my parents loved one of my siblings more than I and, if they were unfair, it was only because the circumstances changed a bit.
There have been times when I’ve attempted to come up with some negative aspects of growing up in a family of 9, and observing the unfairness between siblings is the closest to something negative I’ve ever gotten. But, when you think about, life is completely unfair–from birth to death–and growing up in a large, unfair family actually prepares you for the real world more than anything.
I guess my youngest brother hasn’t experienced the unfair world of siblings, but there’s still time for that. I’m sure his older siblings and I can come up with a few things to teach him about the unfair real world that’s waiting for him just around the corner.
Having siblings can make life unfair, but not having any siblings just seems unfair. I’m glad life isn’t fair and that my parents, apparently, didn’t watch a lot of TV.
Look at these two siblings getting along perfectly:
I know the studies and know there is truth to them. But my family would say that my youngest sister is more responsible and less spontaneous than me (the oldest). So here’s to “reverse” ordering!
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Nate, as the older sibling I can tell you that I the only thing I thought unfair was having my mother force my younger sister to come along with my middle sister and me wherever we went. I was a teenager and the little one was four years younger. I considered her a pest and didn’t hesitate to tell her that every chance I got. Everything you say is true. Younger siblings have the best of everything and a lot more privileges than we ever did. And the pressure to be a “good role model”? What a nightmare! I can still hear my mother’s voice telling me, “Your sister is watching. Be careful how you act and what you say!” Argh! :)
All I ever wanted was a sister close to me in age, so that we could have fun together, laugh, commiserate, share clothing, etc. What I got was two older brothers and one younger sister who was so much younger than me that all I could do was babysit her. My mother forced me to take her wherever I went. I was 13 and she was 4 and you can imagine, this wasn’t much fun at all. So I ended up having to hang out with kids her age instead of my age, so that she’d be entertained. None of my friends wanted to hang out with me when I had a kid in tow. Wasn’t the best of arrangements, if you ask me.
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“They say that the firstborn tends to be a perfectionist, a leader and reliable (especially when it comes to their younger siblings).
I am the oldest and I’m totally a perfectionist, a leader and reliable!
My youngest sisters, who are both half sisters (one from my dad and one from my mom) were BOTH spoiled!
I have to agree, it’s so much better having siblings. Who would I pick on?
Pamela D Hart recently posted..Apparently I’m Too Stupid
Hi Nate, I am that dreaded middle child, an overbearing older sister and spoiled younger brother, but I survived – us middle kids have to stick together, right! And I’m giving away my age here, but when I was a kid, we played Atari, and (gasp) pong!
Lisa
As the oldest, I can say I fit your model… somewhat. I am a perfectionist and feel I have to lead by example. That said I always held my brother and sister to higher standards than my best friends. I always expected more of them and sometimes that came across harsh. I can see that now. But, my youngest sibling, my sister, wasn’t spoiled, nor is she the unreliable one. In fact, she’s the level head, the peace keeper.
My dad had no siblings, so I am thankful for mine even though there are times when I want to throttle them.
Sounds like you have a good bunch around you too.
Great post!
I am the 3rd down of 7 kids, and have a bit of the oldest child perfectionist in me being the oldest girl, and then the middle child independence and ability to read people. The youngest was definitely, and still to this day is the spoiled one without a doubt! And, we did it to her as well, not just my parents. She would absolutely have a fit that I’m writing this, and would completely disagree!;) Funny. So true about the unfairness, but many times I feel like I am much better prepared for life…knowing how to share, not getting my way ever, and being used to that, and getting teased and challenged constantly. I think there are real benefits to having a big family, and even an advantage for life lessons. Your skin is just thicker.
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