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when youre fugly

9 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

I know this is a tough subject for you to talk about, but everyone else is already talking about it behind your back so you really have nothing to lose. Hey, on the bright side, at least they don’t know how you’ve tried everything from Tinder to FarmersOnly.com and … Read More

life is depressing smell the roses

Life is Depressing But At Least You’re Not Dead

This morning, I woke up to a notification on my iPhone stating, “BREAKING NEWS: At least 10 dead in shooting at Paris magazine office.” Naturally, as any sane, empathetic human would, I shook my head in disgust and my heart suddenly sank. This ‘sudden sink’ feeling … Read More

kim kardashian drink funny

Your Monday Morning Mimosa Featuring Kim Kardashian

I have 45 minutes until I need to start getting ready for the day. Luckily, for me, I was proactive last night and showered, shaved and picked out what I was going to wear to work today. It's nothing fancy, so don't get too excited. Mondays are any interesting day, … Read More

internet trolls bullying

The Insignificant Opinions of Bullies and Internet Trolls

Earlier today, via the social media platform Twitter, I was informed - by a complete stranger - that the Ralph Lauren sweater I was wearing in my profile picture made me look like a "faggot." Additionally, the intellectually-gifted twitter user (who has no profile … Read More

crystal meth funny

How to Have an Awesome Day Even If You’re a Recovering Crystal Meth Addict

In exactly one hour, my alarm is going to go off, announcing that I must wake up. Naturally, I'm sitting here at my computer already awake, but I wanted to start off the conversation by insinuating to you that I had a sleepless night last night. By the way, I had a … Read More

kim kardashian is funny and classy

Why I Feel Sorry for Kim Kardashian

As humans, it's hard for us to come to terms with the simple fact that we can't have it all. We are innately selfish, greedy individuals who relish in the approval of fellow humans and take great comfort in our worldly possessions. Naturally, the degree of our … Read More

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10 Reasons Why Texans Love Texas

Have y'all ever wondered what the big deal was about Texas? What are the reasons why people, who are from Texas, talk as … Read More

most annoying

5 Most Annoying Things in Life

It's 8:00 AM, you forgot your coffee on the kitchen counter, you're currently stuck in traffic and you had a meeting at … Read More

pressurepre

Breaking Under Pressure, But Winning in the End

From the moment I first popped into this world, I have never been able to deal very well with time-induced pressure, or … Read More

my website sold to the highest bidder

Sold to the Highest Bidder

When I first started writing on shenkitup, I never imagined that it would grow as much as it has. I also never … Read More

americans and europeans

3 Differences Between Americans and Europeans

I'm walking a Shetland pony [in the picture to your right] on the multi-acre Dressage Horse Ranch of Adolf Dassler's … Read More

taylor and chantelle

Chantelle Paige: A California Dime

When you hear the word "celebrity," what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it that they're overpaid, … Read More

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the vampire blood

Methodist Hospital: Modern Day Vampires

Around 7:30 this morning, I was jolted out of dreamland by the sensation of my iPhone vibrating next to me. No, I … Read More

crazy cat funny

My Cat Pooped On My True Religion Jeans

For the past five years, I've had a special, somewhat-hairy, girl in my life and her name is Andie. Oh, and by the way, … Read More

broken horse

My Sister’s Broken Carousel

I have always wondered what it would have been like to have an older brother. Sure, I've got two younger ones, but I … Read More

calm down theyre just movies

5 Overrated Movies

Have you ever been excited to watch a movie, either because you've heard so much about it on TV, or your friends had … Read More

austin texas

5 Reasons to Love Austin Texas

If this isn't your fist time on this site, then you know that I love randomosity and one of the best places to do random … Read More

the greatest quotes

15 Great Quotes

"Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who can't make up their own minds." –Seth Hoffman (Writer & … Read More

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