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life is depressing smell the roses

Life is Depressing But At Least You’re Not Dead

This morning, I woke up to a notification on my iPhone stating, “BREAKING NEWS: At least 10 dead in shooting at Paris magazine office.” Naturally, as any sane, empathetic human would, I shook my head in disgust and my heart suddenly sank. This ‘sudden sink’ feeling … Read More

kim kardashian drink funny

Your Monday Morning Mimosa Featuring Kim Kardashian

I have 45 minutes until I need to start getting ready for the day. Luckily, for me, I was proactive last night and showered, shaved and picked out what I was going to wear to work today. It's nothing fancy, so don't get too excited. Mondays are any interesting day, … Read More

internet trolls bullying

The Insignificant Opinions of Bullies and Internet Trolls

Earlier today, via the social media platform Twitter, I was informed - by a complete stranger - that the Ralph Lauren sweater I was wearing in my profile picture made me look like a "faggot." Additionally, the intellectually-gifted twitter user (who has no profile … Read More

crystal meth funny

How to Have an Awesome Day Even If You’re a Recovering Crystal Meth Addict

In exactly one hour, my alarm is going to go off, announcing that I must wake up. Naturally, I'm sitting here at my computer already awake, but I wanted to start off the conversation by insinuating to you that I had a sleepless night last night. By the way, I had a … Read More

kim kardashian is funny and classy

Why I Feel Sorry for Kim Kardashian

As humans, it's hard for us to come to terms with the simple fact that we can't have it all. We are innately selfish, greedy individuals who relish in the approval of fellow humans and take great comfort in our worldly possessions. Naturally, the degree of our … Read More

crazy cat funny

My Cat Pooped On My True Religion Jeans

For the past five years, I've had a special, somewhat-hairy, girl in my life and her name is Andie. Oh, and by the way, Andie is a cat, just to clear things up. Yes, I'm 'that' guy who not only publically claims ownership of a cat, but also blogs about it. If I'm not … Read More

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10 Reasons Why Texans Love Texas

Have y'all ever wondered what the big deal was about Texas? What are the reasons why people, who are from Texas, talk as … Read More

most annoying

5 Most Annoying Things in Life

It's 8:00 AM, you forgot your coffee on the kitchen counter, you're currently stuck in traffic and you had a meeting at … Read More

pressurepre

Breaking Under Pressure, But Winning in the End

From the moment I first popped into this world, I have never been able to deal very well with time-induced pressure, or … Read More

my website sold to the highest bidder

Sold to the Highest Bidder

When I first started writing on shenkitup, I never imagined that it would grow as much as it has. I also never … Read More

americans and europeans

3 Differences Between Americans and Europeans

I'm walking a Shetland pony [in the picture to your right] on the multi-acre Dressage Horse Ranch of Adolf Dassler's … Read More

taylor and chantelle

Chantelle Paige: A California Dime

When you hear the word "celebrity," what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it that they're overpaid, … Read More

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Belieber Central: 10 Reasons Why We Should Feel Bad for Justin Bieber

I'm sure most of you have already heard the heartbreaking news about Justin Bieber's arrest early Thursday morning in … Read More

the dangerous desires to be famous

The Dangerous Desire to be Famous

A few weeks ago, my 11-year-old brother informed me that, "The only thing you want is to become rich and famous from … Read More

funny britney spears gif

20 Things I Hate [Explained in GIF Format]

  1. When I realize how many of my bills are due:   2. When I have to listen to a stupid person explain … Read More

Speedy_Gonzales_3

How to Speed Up Your Mac

Has your Mac been a little sluggish, or maybe you and your Mac just aren't communicating like you used to and you've … Read More

Marie-und-I

The Night A Man Almost Clipped Me To Death

Do you remember how it felt when you got your first job? For me I was excited, very excited, see we [all 7] grew up … Read More

five healthy snacks

5 Healthy Snacks

A few nights ago, a friend of mine poked fun at me for snacking throughout the movie we were watching. It wasn't … Read More

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