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life is depressing smell the roses

Life is Depressing But At Least You’re Not Dead

This morning, I woke up to a notification on my iPhone stating, “BREAKING NEWS: At least 10 dead in shooting at Paris magazine office.” Naturally, as any sane, empathetic human would, I shook my head in disgust and my heart suddenly sank. This ‘sudden sink’ feeling … Read More

kim kardashian drink funny

Your Monday Morning Mimosa Featuring Kim Kardashian

I have 45 minutes until I need to start getting ready for the day. Luckily, for me, I was proactive last night and showered, shaved and picked out what I was going to wear to work today. It's nothing fancy, so don't get too excited. Mondays are any interesting day, … Read More

internet trolls bullying

The Insignificant Opinions of Bullies and Internet Trolls

Earlier today, via the social media platform Twitter, I was informed - by a complete stranger - that the Ralph Lauren sweater I was wearing in my profile picture made me look like a "faggot." Additionally, the intellectually-gifted twitter user (who has no profile … Read More

crystal meth funny

How to Have an Awesome Day Even If You’re a Recovering Crystal Meth Addict

In exactly one hour, my alarm is going to go off, announcing that I must wake up. Naturally, I'm sitting here at my computer already awake, but I wanted to start off the conversation by insinuating to you that I had a sleepless night last night. By the way, I had a … Read More

kim kardashian is funny and classy

Why I Feel Sorry for Kim Kardashian

As humans, it's hard for us to come to terms with the simple fact that we can't have it all. We are innately selfish, greedy individuals who relish in the approval of fellow humans and take great comfort in our worldly possessions. Naturally, the degree of our … Read More

crazy cat funny

My Cat Pooped On My True Religion Jeans

For the past five years, I've had a special, somewhat-hairy, girl in my life and her name is Andie. Oh, and by the way, Andie is a cat, just to clear things up. Yes, I'm 'that' guy who not only publically claims ownership of a cat, but also blogs about it. If I'm not … Read More

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10 Reasons Why Texans Love Texas

Have y'all ever wondered what the big deal was about Texas? What are the reasons why people, who are from Texas, talk as … Read More

most annoying

5 Most Annoying Things in Life

It's 8:00 AM, you forgot your coffee on the kitchen counter, you're currently stuck in traffic and you had a meeting at … Read More

pressurepre

Breaking Under Pressure, But Winning in the End

From the moment I first popped into this world, I have never been able to deal very well with time-induced pressure, or … Read More

my website sold to the highest bidder

Sold to the Highest Bidder

When I first started writing on shenkitup, I never imagined that it would grow as much as it has. I also never … Read More

americans and europeans

3 Differences Between Americans and Europeans

I'm walking a Shetland pony [in the picture to your right] on the multi-acre Dressage Horse Ranch of Adolf Dassler's … Read More

taylor and chantelle

Chantelle Paige: A California Dime

When you hear the word "celebrity," what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it that they're overpaid, … Read More

Random

computers that kill people

A Life Without Computers

When my family got our first computer, I was 8-years-old, spent most of the time outside and had no idea what the … Read More

new york smashing computers

Smashing My Computer and Crying Under My Bed

I'm sure most of you, at some point in your life, have had the urge to smash your computer with your deckchair––using … Read More

crystal meth funny

How to Have an Awesome Day Even If You’re a Recovering Crystal Meth Addict

In exactly one hour, my alarm is going to go off, announcing that I must wake up. Naturally, I'm sitting here at my … Read More

kim kardashian is funny and classy

Why I Feel Sorry for Kim Kardashian

As humans, it's hard for us to come to terms with the simple fact that we can't have it all. We are innately selfish, … Read More

race based voting in 2012

The Problem of Race-Based Voting

To be completely honest, the subject of this article is a rather difficult one to tackle. Perhaps it would be … Read More

mean people suck

Why People Are Mean

We've all experienced some form of meanness in one way or another and have all learned to deal with it in our own … Read More

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