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life is depressing smell the roses

Life is Depressing But At Least You’re Not Dead

This morning, I woke up to a notification on my iPhone stating, “BREAKING NEWS: At least 10 dead in shooting at Paris magazine office.” Naturally, as any sane, empathetic human would, I shook my head in disgust and my heart suddenly sank. This ‘sudden sink’ feeling … Read More

kim kardashian drink funny

Your Monday Morning Mimosa Featuring Kim Kardashian

I have 45 minutes until I need to start getting ready for the day. Luckily, for me, I was proactive last night and showered, shaved and picked out what I was going to wear to work today. It's nothing fancy, so don't get too excited. Mondays are any interesting day, … Read More

internet trolls bullying

The Insignificant Opinions of Bullies and Internet Trolls

Earlier today, via the social media platform Twitter, I was informed - by a complete stranger - that the Ralph Lauren sweater I was wearing in my profile picture made me look like a "faggot." Additionally, the intellectually-gifted twitter user (who has no profile … Read More

crystal meth funny

How to Have an Awesome Day Even If You’re a Recovering Crystal Meth Addict

In exactly one hour, my alarm is going to go off, announcing that I must wake up. Naturally, I'm sitting here at my computer already awake, but I wanted to start off the conversation by insinuating to you that I had a sleepless night last night. By the way, I had a … Read More

kim kardashian is funny and classy

Why I Feel Sorry for Kim Kardashian

As humans, it's hard for us to come to terms with the simple fact that we can't have it all. We are innately selfish, greedy individuals who relish in the approval of fellow humans and take great comfort in our worldly possessions. Naturally, the degree of our … Read More

crazy cat funny

My Cat Pooped On My True Religion Jeans

For the past five years, I've had a special, somewhat-hairy, girl in my life and her name is Andie. Oh, and by the way, Andie is a cat, just to clear things up. Yes, I'm 'that' guy who not only publically claims ownership of a cat, but also blogs about it. If I'm not … Read More

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10 Reasons Why Texans Love Texas

Have y'all ever wondered what the big deal was about Texas? What are the reasons why people, who are from Texas, talk as … Read More

most annoying

5 Most Annoying Things in Life

It's 8:00 AM, you forgot your coffee on the kitchen counter, you're currently stuck in traffic and you had a meeting at … Read More

pressurepre

Breaking Under Pressure, But Winning in the End

From the moment I first popped into this world, I have never been able to deal very well with time-induced pressure, or … Read More

my website sold to the highest bidder

Sold to the Highest Bidder

When I first started writing on shenkitup, I never imagined that it would grow as much as it has. I also never … Read More

americans and europeans

3 Differences Between Americans and Europeans

I'm walking a Shetland pony [in the picture to your right] on the multi-acre Dressage Horse Ranch of Adolf Dassler's … Read More

taylor and chantelle

Chantelle Paige: A California Dime

When you hear the word "celebrity," what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it that they're overpaid, … Read More

Random

sixth sense new social technology

More Social Technology; Just What We Need

I don't know about you, but I am getting annoyed at how many times Facebook changes its functionality and sometimes, … Read More

the autobahn in germany

Lessons Learned from the Autobahn in Germany [Gute Fahrer nur]

What is your opinion of the speed limits imposed on our American highways? Do you think they serve a purpose, or … Read More

too many selfies

The Psychology Behind the Selfie

The last article I wrote on shenkitup.com, "5 Tips for Taking the Perfect Selfie," was a satirical step-by-step … Read More

facebook

Not a Time, Not a Place [For Facebook]

For another (better) sketch, click: Just Another Day at the Park Not a Time, Not a Place [For Facebook] … Read More

happy fathers day dad funny

Happy Father’s Day Dad, Ya Cat Killer

Each one of us, at one time, had a father. Whether your father calls you everyday, has already passed on, or never … Read More

dragon1

5 Myths That Need to Come Out of the Closet

  I've always found myths to be an interesting phenomenon, especially when millions upon millions of people firmly … Read More

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