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9 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

I know this is a tough subject for you to talk about, but everyone else is already talking about it behind your back so you really have nothing to lose. Hey, on the bright side, at least they don’t know how you’ve tried everything from Tinder to FarmersOnly.com and … Read More

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Life is Depressing But At Least You’re Not Dead

This morning, I woke up to a notification on my iPhone stating, “BREAKING NEWS: At least 10 dead in shooting at Paris magazine office.” Naturally, as any sane, empathetic human would, I shook my head in disgust and my heart suddenly sank. This ‘sudden sink’ feeling … Read More

kim kardashian drink funny

Your Monday Morning Mimosa Featuring Kim Kardashian

I have 45 minutes until I need to start getting ready for the day. Luckily, for me, I was proactive last night and showered, shaved and picked out what I was going to wear to work today. It's nothing fancy, so don't get too excited. Mondays are any interesting day, … Read More

internet trolls bullying

The Insignificant Opinions of Bullies and Internet Trolls

Earlier today, via the social media platform Twitter, I was informed - by a complete stranger - that the Ralph Lauren sweater I was wearing in my profile picture made me look like a "faggot." Additionally, the intellectually-gifted twitter user (who has no profile … Read More

crystal meth funny

How to Have an Awesome Day Even If You’re a Recovering Crystal Meth Addict

In exactly one hour, my alarm is going to go off, announcing that I must wake up. Naturally, I'm sitting here at my computer already awake, but I wanted to start off the conversation by insinuating to you that I had a sleepless night last night. By the way, I had a … Read More

kim kardashian is funny and classy

Why I Feel Sorry for Kim Kardashian

As humans, it's hard for us to come to terms with the simple fact that we can't have it all. We are innately selfish, greedy individuals who relish in the approval of fellow humans and take great comfort in our worldly possessions. Naturally, the degree of our … Read More

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10 Reasons Why Texans Love Texas

Have y'all ever wondered what the big deal was about Texas? What are the reasons why people, who are from Texas, talk as … Read More

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5 Most Annoying Things in Life

It's 8:00 AM, you forgot your coffee on the kitchen counter, you're currently stuck in traffic and you had a meeting at … Read More

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Breaking Under Pressure, But Winning in the End

From the moment I first popped into this world, I have never been able to deal very well with time-induced pressure, or … Read More

my website sold to the highest bidder

Sold to the Highest Bidder

When I first started writing on shenkitup, I never imagined that it would grow as much as it has. I also never … Read More

americans and europeans

3 Differences Between Americans and Europeans

I'm walking a Shetland pony [in the picture to your right] on the multi-acre Dressage Horse Ranch of Adolf Dassler's … Read More

taylor and chantelle

Chantelle Paige: A California Dime

When you hear the word "celebrity," what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it that they're overpaid, … Read More

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The UK Daily Mail, Michelle Obama Prays to Santa and a Yeti’s Finger

When I think of the British, the first couple of things that pop into my head are tea, sophisticated accents and the … Read More

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Excuses and the Cessation of Stimulant Medications

In the past two years, this has been the record amount of time that has elapsed between the publishing of new content on … Read More

awkward friendship

Awkward Friendship Cleanup on Aisle 6

Recently, I was running some errands and remembered that I needed to run into the local Target to grab something. I … Read More

celebs

5 Celebrity Women You Could Take Home to Mom and Dad

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that, like me, you’re considered to be an average person and there’s … Read More

american are mutt

Signs That You’re American

In a few days, America will be celebrating the little national holiday known as the Fourth of July. Therefore, it's … Read More

when i grow up big

When I Grow Up Big

Yesterday afternoon I was having lunch with my 2.5-year-old niece (don't forget the .5 or she'll stab you with a crayon) … Read More

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